I know you're aware of Titus' hate hate relationship with school. If not, then I'll just sum it up: Titus hates going to school here.
About a month ago I saw a spark of hope. He was given an assignment to create his own insect. The requirements: draw a picture of the insect in its ecosystem, create a model of the insect, and write a paragraph describing the ins and outs of this insect's life.
Titus was totally hooked. He came home from school, immediately filled out his worksheet to help his assignments along, and made a 3-D model of the insect he named Grant on the computer. It was such a relief to have him be so engaged.
Fast forward to a few days ago when we got an email from his teacher informing us that Titus had not turned any of it in and that he was facing getting three F's for the science assignments he was missing.
This sparked a long discussion between two confused parents about the relative value of education, assignments, and learning. Is there any way to force a feeling of intrinsic value in school and school work? Is this just a nine year old boy thing to do? Are Bryce and I just confused because we belong to the boring set who actually liked school?
We talked it over with the little guy and weren't at all surprised when he said he didn't care if he got all F's. He wasn't surprised either when we said we did care so he gamely finished all three assignments in about an hour and a half and turned them in the next day. Ms. J (bless her) extended the deadline for our irresponsible little procrastinator and he came home the same day with three perfect scores.
He couldn't quite hide his smile when he told me his grade. He even went so far as to say his classmates were impressed with Grant - the realistic burrowing insect.
But, I'm still not sure. Were we right to force the issue? Would it have been better to leave him to his F's and the satisfaction of knowing he made his point?
6 comments:
You're great parents! Sometimes you have to force things that they'll appreciate someday. Brent still needs that push and I'm waiting for him to love school and homework. Hang in there.
I get you on the not understand when you kids don't like school because I never felt that way. I am not ever sure I do the right thing when it comes to my kids, but Titus is such a great kid you must be doing something right.
I don't know. I know that I tend to hover and nag and protect too much, which can be problematic. But I don't think that everything will always "work out for the best" without parental intervention, even though that is a popular idea these days.
Let me know if you figure it out!
no, you guys were right. because the negative consequences from 'Fs' only appear much later, when it's too late. If you'd ignored it, he wouldn't have learned any kind of lesson, except that getting Fs didn't change his life at all. This way he maybe he learned about the instant gratification that good grades bring. good job.
I'm so scared of this exact situation, not that I'm an expert, but I think you guys did the right thing!!! Him getting so much attention for his work is a great thing, he would not have gotten that if you let him sit with his F's. ;) Best of luck!
I think you were right! I am struggling with a 12 year old that seems to be very content with sub standard work and I am at my wits end! By 12 they should have a clue, but sad to say mine does not (which is very difficult because my first 2 are extremely self motivated) I wish each child came with their very own instruction manual!Titus can always make a mint modeling if all else fails!
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