To Market

We found these home made bubble wand sets at the market. They work really well.

At first she just asked if she could take Lena shopping. Then, when I refused, she came up with the idea that we all go shopping. There was such a sense of urgency and anticipation about the suggestion that I wavered, even though I knew there was no part of me that wanted to take two toddlers shopping in an open market in a developing country. She pounced on my hesitation and arranged for her brother to drive us. Through the 20 words we mutually know we arranged for a time. 3:00. That's when everyone is home from school or up from naps.

She was happy. She bounced around sweeping and mopping while I played with the little ones, uncomfortable in the corner already anxious about what I had agreed to do. After a little while she said she needed to go shopping and left. This was a huge relief. I thought maybe I had misunderstood and she decided to go without me.

I was reading on my bed when she came back, dazzling in a pink and blue shalwar kameez that sparkled and shined. Her hair was done. Heavy eye make up had been applied. "Madame," she said. "Go shopping."

Of course, there was no way we could go shopping then. Even if she did look so well prepared. I tried to convey the complicated sentiment that I wasn't about to go shopping when Enzo and Lena were napping, Maggie was due home from school in half and hour, and Titus an hour after that.

In the end I had to call a Bangladeshi friend to translate. She graciously spoke to both of us on the phone and when I got the phone back she related, "I've never heard of a maid thinking like this before. She wants you to go shopping with her and she thinks it will make you happy. She said you already promised to go and that her brother is waiting at the car. Andra, I have to tell you that this is very strange. I don't even know what to think of it."

I looked at Maria, so obviously excited to go and asked my friend to translate that I would go, just not until 3:00. So, all was settled. For real this time.

I had to resort to bribery to get Titus and Maggie to go. Enzo had to be awoken from a nap which goes against some very deep seated beliefs. But, at 3:00, we were downstairs, eight people piling into a car built for four.

The market wasn't very far away and we were able to park just outside the gate. We got out of the car and stepped over a man, missing both arms and both legs, prostrate on the ground. We walked by a child, with blood on his face and arms, who looked like he had been dragged on cement. We avoided and sidestepped children begging, huge eyes in gaunt faces, while we were whisked through the market.

After visiting a few shops, looking quickly at the wares while trying to keep Enzo quiet, Lena in view, Titus occupied, and Maggie polite, I realized that I was expected to spend up big. "Madame, shopping," was repeated by both Maria and her brother as I looked around desperately searching for something I actually wanted to buy.

I picked out a stainless steel tiered lunch box that Bryce had said he wanted. The brother bought it for me. Maggie picked out a red purse with sequins and fringe. He bought it again. Titus, Enzo and Lena all got plastic toys that broke immediately.

We walked around for an hour, looking for something for me. I should have just agreed to the earrings that looked like tiny chandeliers. Or one of the plastic sequined headbands or hair clips. But, in my distraction I couldn't concentrate and kept saying no until I realized I was stuck shopping until I bought something for myself. Fabric, I thought, as we walked towards a shop under a huge marquee. There has to be something here I would like.

Unfortunately, this is where Enzo, the sleep deprived toddler really lost it and where Lena became lost between the rows of hanging fabric. It was clear we had to go. Even Maria could tell.

So in the car on the way home her brother asked Maggie, "What is the favorite color of your mother?"

"Orange," Maggie replied.

"Madame," he turns his attention to me, "I will find for you some wonderful fabric for shirt. It will be orange, and perhaps white and perhaps black. Yes?"

"Yes," I agree. What else can I say?

Bryce laughed when I told him we had gone shopping. I didn't even tell him the whole story before he started laughing. And now I have an orange, black and white shirt to look forward to.

It was a thought provoking experience for me. Out of everything that I learned I think the one I appreciate most right now is that Maria, our maid, a 22 year old single mother in her first job, is looking out for me and wants me to be happy. Whatever other frustrations we run into (shopping or at home) that's really nice to know.